Frequently Asked Questions
Approved Opinions™
Below are answers to the most commonly approved questions. Unapproved questions have been omitted for your protection.
What is Approved Opinions?
Approved Opinions is a political satire imprint dedicated to documenting, clarifying, and distributing opinions that have already been determined to be acceptable.
This saves readers time, effort, and the emotional burden of thinking independently.
Is this site satire?
Yes.
But seriously.
Who decides which opinions are approved?
Approval is determined through a rigorous internal process involving:
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Consensus
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Vibes
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Media repetition
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Social validation
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And occasional polling data
Final decisions are not subject to appeal.
Are you left-wing or right-wing?
We prefer the term correct.
While many publications critique progressive absurdities, others defend or celebrate conservative ideas that have achieved temporary or conditional approval.
Ideology is fluid.
Compliance is not.
Do you hate the left?
No.
We simply observe it closely, document it carefully, and quote it accurately.
Do you praise the right?
Occasionally.
When conservative ideas align with reality, tradition, or basic arithmetic, acknowledgment may be issued without apology.
This does not imply permanence.
Are you neutral?
Absolutely not.
Neutrality has been reviewed and found insufficient.
Can I disagree with what you publish?
Yes.
Disagreement is permitted provided it is:
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Quiet
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Private
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Ineffective
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Or expressed online without impact
Public disagreement may require re-education.
Why do some older articles contradict newer ones?
They do not.
They have been updated for clarity.
Why are some topics treated more seriously than others?
Because they are more important.
Importance is determined by:
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Volume of outrage
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Level of institutional buy-in
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Proximity to power
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And how uncomfortable dissent would be
What if I don’t find this funny?
That may indicate one of the following:
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Insufficient ideological alignment
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Excessive self-recognition
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Or a failure to appreciate irony
We recommend reflection.
How can I stay compliant?
Sign up for updates.
Read regularly.
Adjust accordingly
Final Question: What is the most important thing to remember?
Opinions are temporary.
Approval is conditional.
The narrative is forever.